Don't ask me about the thumbnail, it's temporary

Hey guys! I know I haven't been active lately, and I just wanted to make an update on what's been going on and my feelings lately.
So, before I jump into it, I just want you to know I'm not doing this for attention, I just want everyone to know what's been going on
I also don't want to start any drama or gossip so please don't tell the whole universe this

So, my life has been spiraling out of control
For starters, my grades have been dropping, and I can't focus in class.
This is because I constantly daydream, brood, and fall asleep in class
I haven't been getting any sleep, I just toss and turn. I have to listen to music to silence thoughts
So many things has happened the past few years, as a result, I can't exactly pinpoint the reason of my sadness
A guess would be because of my parents.
My dad lied to me when I lived with him almost every single day, so I felt betrayed when I thought he understood me
As a result I have been way too
clingy to my friends, and I'm scared that they'll get mad at me for certain reasons, and now I have trust issues
I feel pressured and paranoid of how people will react to the sudden drop of my grades
It's because at my school, if you don't have straight As or As and Bs, you get shamed upon

And in school, I feel like a social outcast even though I have plenty of friends and I haven't been getting bullied
I felt lonely the past few months and going on social media made it worse
I realized because I never was on Scratch, all of my old friends stopped talking to me and unfollowed me
I also went through my old messages and realized how mean I was

But one good thing was how I have learned from my mistakes and I have become a better person
I still have a temper, but I don't take it out on others that much anymore. I hope you guys can forgive me for my past actions and understand how I feel

XOXO,
@batcat12345