Yeah I’m bored, I’m also supposed to be dead. I’m just gonna destroy this studio with very bad facts and some custom made head canons for no reason.
Enjoy this garbage that I’ll add at random
If you want you can suggest some, I guess
•Kakyoin has a body pillow of Jotaro’s mom (I forgot her name. Wasn’t it Holly?)
•Narancia’s stand is just a toy airplane that Bruno gave him so he’d think he was cool. That’s why it’s basically useless. (Idea from the podcast channel JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer, check them out!)
•Joseph’s bedtime is 7 PM, set by Lisa Lisa
•Whitesnake has a gun
•Kakyoin will snatch your mom
• Respawning is just GER’s death loop
•Giorno told Johnny to kill the president. (You should know this by now, but Dio means God in Italian. Giorno is Dio’s son, therefore making him Jesus)
•Josuke and Okuyasu wear their Naruto cosplays and Naruto run around Rohan, harassing him. Koichi would join but he’s too small for any cosplay to fit him.
•Diego loves watching Jurassic Park while screeching
•Polnareff is a VSCO boi
(he was so much of a vsco boy he became one with the turtles)
•Weather Report is just a rejected Steven Universe character
•Jonathan is a cinnamon roll that got turned into a human
•DIO is God in Italian.
•Diavolo death 2214267809- Diavolo gets a nice lil doggo but it has already been touched by Killer Queen *clicking sound*
———I’m pretty sure most of these facts are either purposely false or extremely obvious but okay———
•Mama Bruno is in fact a thing
•If Dio knew about GioGio's childhood, he would of "saved" him.
•Narancia is older than Fugo
•Secco is a dog, which is why he is now dead
•Lisa Lisa’s cigarette is backwards
•Abbacchio hates Giorno. Ikr, who knew??
•Kakyoin is a donut
•The Italian boi whose dad is a vampire has the taste of a liar
•Joseph doesn’t understand how age works.
•Giorno is a minor you guys, stop breaking the law-
•Caesar-Chan is verrrry niceu
•No one can just deflect the Emerald Splash
•Jotaro's son is a reliable guy.
•Okuyasu, Kakyoin, and Abbacchio all want to kiss JoJo's (from their part) mom.
Giorno's mom is Bruno.
•you know how mario snores in super mario 64? gyro does that as well
•Bossu wouldn’t call Doppio one last t time. Rude.
•Koichi is the actual main jojo of DiU pre-kira
[Bonus stuff I guess]
~I can imagine Kakyoin being a teen VSCO mom for some reason, don’t ask. He would have 18 children and threaten to skskskin anyone who deflects the Emerald Splash.
~Oi Josuke! I used my Za Hando to erase my Za Hando but since Za Hando can’t erase things that don’t exist, I’m now in a time paradox!! Ain’t that cool? Also,
p l e a s e
h e l p m e b r o .
~This is requiem