i'm sorry if you didn't want to be invited!

hi, everyone. i'm so sorry for dumping my crap here and being a baby about it but i don't know where else to go. please don't feel pressured to say anything if you don't want to. a little support would be really appreciated but you don't have to.

for anyone that doesn't know i struggle a lot with depression. it's always been hard but for the past couple weeks and especially recently it's been hitting me very very badly

but because of quarantine i can't see my therapist

i have a school counselor i can reach online in a video call but it was honestly really hard to open up to my therapist at all at first and i don't know if i can do it again. the idea of that video call is terrifying to me and i'm scared i'd waste the counselor's time. (i've never spoken to the counselor before.)

the pandemic and quarantining is backing me into a corner at the worst possible time and everything is getting worse without me being able to get help. i don't know when i'm going to be able to see my therapist again. i still have to take online classes and now that i don't have the support of my therapist my grades are falling back apart just after fixing them again. i'm trying to get into a new school but if i don't have a certain average i'm not going to be able to get in, and i'm scared that i'm not going to be able to pick up my grades in time.

i don't know what to do. i can barely hold things together anymore.